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Saturday 26th December 2009

I feel obliged to write a post about something thats very womanly and a little bit disgusting but that needs to be addressed! This morning, after having a gorgeous but exhausting Christmas day eating my bodyweight in Matchmaker chocolates and Turkey roast dinner, I decided to treat myself to an indulgent bath to read a book. This relaxation plan was totally destroyed when i looked down and saw what could only be described as a couple of Cocker Spaniels resting comfortably on my legs “CRIPES” I thought, “Where the HECK did all that hair come from?! Have I honestly not waxed or shaved these little bad boys for so long that they now resemble PUPPIES??!!” 

Here’s the thing, I wear tights all day, every day and only ever have a quick glance in the shower so I haven’t checked out my pins out properly in ages and they’re totally neglected! The colour resembles an off-white/yellow colour (Which i can only assume is old tan?!) and they’re covered in bruises and, of course, the  previously mentioned HAIR. My poor boyfriend! And there’s me thinking that when he clutched my legs in the middle of these cold, wintery nights that it was accidental or a new form of foreplay, now I realise he’s selfishly attempting to keep warm! 

It just comes down to the winter months, and that’s who I’m blaming. As soon as June hits, I scrub, shave, wax & tan. I use cream after cream to make my legs softer than a baby’s bottom and then wear the minimum clothes i can get away with so I can show off the hour workout for Chezza Cole inspired legs. THEN, as soon as September hits, I cover up, dont wax/shave and could easily be mistaken for a Wilderbeast hiding out in the woods waiting to get some scram for tea. 

Point I’m trying to make is, why do we feel the need to let ourselves go a little bit during the winter? Is it cause we feel there isn’t any need to bother if nobody but ourselves will be seeing it and we won’t be showing it off? If so, do we ever only preen ourselves so others can see our goodiesat their best? Have we forgotten who we should be preening ourselves for? Or is it simply a matter of wanting to feel snuggly in the winter months?  

 All i know is, after an embarrassed face and shaking my head at how badly i have let myself go, I quickly remembered Roy had gotten three razors for Christmas SO, now I stand, armed with a brand new Gillette (with matching wash bag and gel don’cha know!) and I’m ready to take on any challenge. 

Now all I’m dreading is seeing what my armpits look like…. 




 ~ Tuesday 3rd March 2009 ~

Oh, how stupid do i feel now after premature blogging about the delights of spring. If you have been outside today and nearly been taken away by the wind then i second that motion. Worst of all, it’s raining too, so I’ve had a ridiculously hilarious experience with a giant umbrella nearly taking me away – and I’m not a light person. Literally, on four occasions this giant umbrella turned itself inside out and was dragging me in the opposite directon screaming and swearing and loosing all composure with completely wild hair. HILARIOUS. Members of the public must have thought i was literally mental.

But, whilst i was dancing my way around the wind with wild hair and two left feet, every other woman i came across remained calm & relaxed and it reminded me of all the other times i fall into an embarrassing situation,  I always seem to be the one who ends up in me loosing all sense of dignity and watching others around me remaining composed and still looking fabulous whilst i look like a fiery beast. HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN!??

Had a great time in London on Saturday with my girlfriends. My favourite part (apart from the cool drinking places, getting dressed up and eating pizza) had to be falling into bed at 5am with my bestest and watching shameless and giggling for ages. For reasons i cannot remember, the word ‘Schlong’ appeared to have us in fits of giggles and we couldn’t stop talking about past experiences, hilarious male disasters and recreating news headlines and adverts for our male friends who are under the thumb and are never allowed any fun. Brilliant.

After a hectic weekend of travelling and drinking, this week has kicked off to a very bad start diet wise. I really honestly cannot stop thinking about cakes and sweeties and it’ driving me crazy. I’ve ended up throwing the diet down the pan and giving in and now have a sugar overload situation and worst headache ever. So disappointed in myself.

I did a lot of thinking on the train home though. My ipod is like a throwback from the 90’s full of cheesy stuff but it really helps relive certain experiences and gets me thinking. I’m entering a writing competition (don’t want to say too much to jinx it) which has to be in next month so I’m really conjuring up some feelings and musics a brilliant way to relive stuff. Especially if you, like me, tag a song to a particular situation and just listening to it brings everything back. Bliss!

Back to the important stuff,  Becky’s section is nearly finished, her first article is going to be on fake tan so keep checking for that. She’s trialled some at the weekend and has some brilliant advice for you ladies. Also, tomorrow I’ll be updating the Lust List section with my favourite topic, KILLER HEELS.

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Share your stories of what your up too, things to talk about or anything that’s on your mind. We want to hear from you! xxxxx

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