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Posts Tagged ‘Banter

Saturday 26th December 2009

I feel obliged to write a post about something thats very womanly and a little bit disgusting but that needs to be addressed! This morning, after having a gorgeous but exhausting Christmas day eating my bodyweight in Matchmaker chocolates and Turkey roast dinner, I decided to treat myself to an indulgent bath to read a book. This relaxation plan was totally destroyed when i looked down and saw what could only be described as a couple of Cocker Spaniels resting comfortably on my legs “CRIPES” I thought, “Where the HECK did all that hair come from?! Have I honestly not waxed or shaved these little bad boys for so long that they now resemble PUPPIES??!!” 

Here’s the thing, I wear tights all day, every day and only ever have a quick glance in the shower so I haven’t checked out my pins out properly in ages and they’re totally neglected! The colour resembles an off-white/yellow colour (Which i can only assume is old tan?!) and they’re covered in bruises and, of course, the  previously mentioned HAIR. My poor boyfriend! And there’s me thinking that when he clutched my legs in the middle of these cold, wintery nights that it was accidental or a new form of foreplay, now I realise he’s selfishly attempting to keep warm! 

It just comes down to the winter months, and that’s who I’m blaming. As soon as June hits, I scrub, shave, wax & tan. I use cream after cream to make my legs softer than a baby’s bottom and then wear the minimum clothes i can get away with so I can show off the hour workout for Chezza Cole inspired legs. THEN, as soon as September hits, I cover up, dont wax/shave and could easily be mistaken for a Wilderbeast hiding out in the woods waiting to get some scram for tea. 

Point I’m trying to make is, why do we feel the need to let ourselves go a little bit during the winter? Is it cause we feel there isn’t any need to bother if nobody but ourselves will be seeing it and we won’t be showing it off? If so, do we ever only preen ourselves so others can see our goodiesat their best? Have we forgotten who we should be preening ourselves for? Or is it simply a matter of wanting to feel snuggly in the winter months?  

 All i know is, after an embarrassed face and shaking my head at how badly i have let myself go, I quickly remembered Roy had gotten three razors for Christmas SO, now I stand, armed with a brand new Gillette (with matching wash bag and gel don’cha know!) and I’m ready to take on any challenge. 

Now all I’m dreading is seeing what my armpits look like…. 

 

 


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