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Emily’s Lipgloss Theory.

Monday 29th July 2009



I was flicking through a fashion magazine the other day, and I turned to a page on lips. Popping out from the page, much to my dismay, were the words: ‘matte is SO not where it’s at’. I’m gutted. I love wearing bright red matte lipstick and I’ve just about perfected the art of application. But apparently, this acquired skill is now redundant and it’s time for all us girls to swap our trusty matte lipsticks with the new season’s shiny, shimmery glosses.

 So what? You might ask. What’s wrong with lip gloss? Right, well I’ll tell you what’s wrong.

 Reason # 1: Whereas a good lipstick will last for hours, lip gloss always seems to mysteriously disappear in a matter of minutes. So if you want to carry on looking good and sparkly all day/evening, you must make frequent trips to the loo to touch up. So many trips in fact, that people might start to wonder whether you might be suffering from some sort of bladder problem. And then you start to wonder to yourself, is it really worth it?

 Reason # 2: Summer is the time for being outside. Sometimes it’s windy. And lip gloss works annoyingly well as a hair magnet. Many a time, I’ve set out from my house looking *ahem* stunning, only to arrive at my destination with my hair stuck to my mouth. Then when you get out of the wind and manage to peel all the hair off your face, you’re stuck with sticky hair for the rest of the day. It’s just not sexy.

 Reason # 3: The point of lip gloss is to make your lips look appealing, right? So let’s say it works, and some guy is impressed enough by your luscious lips to want to kiss you. Kissing with lip gloss on is a messy affair. Most of your lip gloss will end up on your poor victim’s face; the rest of it will be smeared around your own face. You can guarantee that there will be none on your lips. That’s just how it is. Again, not sexy.

And let’s not forget… boys don’t like it! It’s sticky, and it feels gross, so the chances are, boys will avoid kissing you when you have lip gloss on. If they have any sense, that is.

What’s the point of looking alluring if you can’t act on it?

 So there it is. That’s why I hate lip gloss. I don’t know, perhaps I’m being a little harsh; perhaps lip gloss doesn’t deserve this torrent of abuse that I’m hurling at it. Am I being unreasonable?

 I’d love to hear some other people’s views on this style issue! Don’t be a stranger!

 Love Emily x x x


4 Responses to "Emily’s Lipgloss Theory."

It’s a bit like kissing somebody who’s failed spectacularly at eating an ice lolly and smeared it all around their mouth. Definite no-no on the lip gloss.

Now, if somebody could invent lip gloss that didn’t have the texture, consistency and stickiness of golden syrup (alas without the yummy taste), on the other hand…

haha..hear hear!!

Emily, I’ve never understood this thing about ‘such-and-such is in/out this season…’. OK, so some things are more summery/wintery so I can see that point, but these weird proclamations about what you can or can’t wear…huh? Maybe I just don’t ‘get it’, but something either looks nice on you or it doesn’t!

I’m sure your matte lipstick looks great!!! oh, and the ‘hair magnet’ thing – yup, I’ve been there…

I totally agree! Someone said the other day “I am so over red lipstick, it is so out!” WHAAAT? Its out already? Red lipstick is out?! I am not in touch! x

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